I'm taking B's advice and writing down my list of rituals that nourish and uplift me, that I know are important to me; those things that make all the difference in my day.
Prayer (morning and night, a frequently throughout the day, and constantly with a prayer in my heart)
Daily Devotional (whether that is reading (studying) or listening to the scriptures, or the words of living prophets and apostles in general conference talks or the Ensign. - sometimes as a mother of a toddler, I have to listen rather than read to prevent tantrums and keep the peace)
Meditation and Guided Imagery
Positive Affirmations (listening to them and saying them)
WheatGrass Juice first thing
Fresh Veggie/Fruit Juice in the morning
Being Quiet in Nature
I am sure I could add more to my list, but these are the main ones that really come to mind that do me good. What are your nourishing rituals? What do you do to take care of yourself? Do you brush those rituals under the rug for things you feel are more 'pressing'? I've been doing that for a long time, but my paradigm is shifting, and I'm putting myself first so that there will be more of me to share.
I had cognitive therapy today, and we discussed goal setting. I am an avid goal setter, and I often set very high goals. The whole "Shoot for the stars, and if you hit the moon, great!" concept. But that hasn't served me well. I am such a motivated person, and I have often worked myself into the ground trying to work so hard to reach my goals, and I've often not reached them and then suffered great disappointment, frustration or guilt. My wonderful therapist presented a new concept to me.
"Stop setting goals, and live in the present."
I've never thought of that as a way to feel successful, but that is what I am going to try. I am going to live in the moment, be present, move forward, take care of myself, and live my values, and I will become the person I need and want to be as I do that. I will stick to my life affirming rituals consistently to nourish myself and grow, and I will live in the here and now, not the past, not the future. Now is here, and that's all I have to work with, so I will work with that, and the growth will happen naturally.
I don't recommend this for everyone, just for people who experience toxic perfectionism like I have. I see achievement differently now. I achieve as I live my values. It is not how much I work, but how I work that is important.
Today I used those life affirming rituals, and I was feeling great, and then I got pretty worked over by a few too many, too long, too dramatic tantrums, not long enough naps, and a whole lot of playing outside (the only thing that would console my energetic little one). I felt very compassionate for parents that often put their children in front of the TV. It's so hard not too. I wanted to be one of those parents. And maybe on days like this a half hour of TV and peace would be much better than what we went through. I am learning not to see this day as a failure; to admit that I did not cause the events that triggered the wipe out/exhaustion I am experiencing now (because I did put my life affirming rituals as a priority today instead of busying myself "accomplishing and achieving things"). It is a lesson learned, and tomorrow is a new day.
Actually, every moment is a new moment!
Isn't that a freeing concept?! We don't have to wait until tomorrow to start over. There is no time like the present. Truly all we have is the present.